The Legend of Peach: The Wind Whistle of Time
by Shy Guy 32
Summary: A parody of Zelda: Ocaraina of Time... made Mario! What fun! Rated for mild violence and minimal cursing. Finished maybe!
1. Prologue!

This is my first story here.Tell me how you like!

Disclaimer: I don't own Mario or Zelda, that's Nintendo. Don't sue me, I only have a Gamecube and a couple of games.

* * *

Prologue

Mario was resting in his tree house, napping the day. He had a cool dream.

"Man, dad's pad is so boring."

"SHUT UP!" his dad yells.

Peach then comes by on a moose, chased by Bowser on Lemmy.

"Get off! I'm tired of carrying you! Get on Morton! He's dumb enough!" Lemmy complains.

"Whatever. Morton, would you like to carry me?"

Morton suddenly comes in.

"Sure I would love to I mean I never carry, backpack, haul, take, tote anything this is so great, fantastic, awesome, admiral, marvelous that it would be so cool, inspiring, awesome that I could never let down this deal, bargain, negotiation!"

Mario stammers, "Uh, okay…"

"Gotta go!" Peach states.

Peach tries to leave on her moose, but a UFO shoots her down.

Bowser declares, "Uh, err… uh… Dang, I forgot my lines. Uh, I will rule, uhhhhhhh…"

"The Mushroom Kingdom?" Mario's dad asks.

"Yeah!"

While Shadow Mario and Bowser are chatting, Mario sneaks away and wakes up.

* * *

How was it? Not too bad, hopefully. Please review! 


	2. Dr Mario's New Patient

Okay, here's Chapter Two. The plotline begins! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario or Zelda, that would be Nintendo. If I did, you'd see some flying monkeys and Mario would be worshipped.

* * *

The Kokiri Emerald

"That dream was weird. I'd better go down."

Mario goes down off of his tree house and sees Luigi.

"Hey man, what's up?" the green "plumber" asks.

"Nothing much. I got déjà vu last night and I'm going to the Great Dumbo Tree."

"That's Deku Tree. Anyway, you mean the creator of all life in the forest? Can I come?"

"The answers are: yes and no."

"WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Mario goes to the shop for no reason whatsoever.

Theclerksays, "Hello, what bomb would you like today, Mario?"

"Bombs? Doesn't this place sell useless junk?"

"We did, but that was actually a good business, so we had to stop."

"Uh… Whatever. I'd like to buy a… dang you don't sell plastic shields anymore…"

"They're in the back room. You can have them for 100 coins."

"WHAT? 100?"

Oh, I forgot. Coins are the currency. There's 25s and 50s and…

Somerandom people yell, "GET ON WITH IT!"

"If you don't have the cash, then leave."

"Never! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!"

Mario does some stuff that's too violent to show. We'll show it anyway.

"Want a massage?" Mario asks.

"Sure!"

Mario massages the clerk and leaves a robot massaging the clerk. He runs in the back room, grabs the shield, and leaves.

"Man, this massage is getting boring. Could you stop?"

The robot says nothing. The clerk looks behind and sees the robot.

"Damn you Mario!"

Well, we told you it was violent! Anyway, Mario runs to a small tunnel.

"Let's see… Ah, there! Good thing I also stole some TNT!"

He blows up the hole and walks through. There's a grassy clearing with a boulder rolling by.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Boulder! Wait…"

He jumps on the boulder and does that running thing to stay on top. He finds a small clearing and sees a burnt hole.

"Finally! That stupid fire flower!"

He looks inside and sees a bum.

"GAAH! Person!" the bum says.

"Have you seen a fire flower around here?"

"You mean this hot flower? I'm sitting on it for warmth."

"WHAT?"

"Uh, dang."

Mario suffocates the bum and takes the flower. He washes it so it won't smell like lazy bums. He then walks to the Tree.

"Mario, there's something I need to tell you." The tree says.

"You can talk?"

"Of course I can talk! Anyway, I need you to go inside me and cure me of this plague I have."

"What's it called? Pneumonia? The flu? HYPOTHERMIA?"

"No, the common cold."

"That's horrible! How do I get inside of you?" Mario says, sarcastically at first.

"Do the monkey! By the way, this annoying idiot flying peanut will help you."

"Hi, my name is Navy!" the flying peanut says.

Mario does the monkey and gets teleported inside. He sees a visible germ flying about.

"Catch me if you can!" the germ taunts.

The germ stays in one spot. Mario catches it and burns it. A door opens.

"Quick!"

He passes by some germs on a wall.

"These are germs! Climb up and you'll get infected! Go in the next room!" that nut says.

"I don't listen to peanuts!"

Mario climbs up, getting Navy affected because she's leading. He gets in a room with snot spiders.

"These are snot spiders! They harm you if you touch them!" Navy states.

Mario throws Navy into it and continues on down a hole. He lands in a room with a booger web in the way.

"Burn!"

You know what happens. He goes in a room with a log running back and forth. It's also an inch thick.

Searching for something, Mario says, "Here it is!"

Oops, forgot to mention there's a sweet snowboarding slope. Mario snowboards down on his shield and decapitates a spider. He continues and sees a room with a bunch of bushes.

"Hello, I'm George Bush. Give me money or I'll raise your taxes."

"Either way I'm giving you more money, right?"

"Dang, he's onto us!" the president says.

The bushes leave and Mario moves on into a room with snot all over it. A gigantic germ, conveniently named germ,caused that.

"Hi! ACHOO! Anyway, I'll defeat you!"

"Hah! I've got… TISSUES!"

Mario started throwing tissues atGerm and he shrinks to nothing. A portal appears and Mario goes in. Navy somehow gets better and nags Mario even more. The tree talks to Mario.

"Thanks. I think that germ gave me pneumonia. I'm gonna die. Well, anyway, you know Bowser? He's looking for an awesome and famous power known as-" the tree states.

"The force?"

"No, the Trishroom."

"… Sounds cool."

"The Trishroom has 3 pieces. When they're put together, the person who touches it gets a wish granted and- HEY! Wake up!"

"ZZZZZZ… What? Huh?"

"Anyway, go to Peach at your dad's house."

"groan Can't I go anywhere _else?"_

"NO! Now GO! Oh, take this emerald."

Reading aloud, Mario asks, "'Made in Hong Kong?'"

"Grr… YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT THAT!"

"I'm going now."

Mario goes to some kid blocking the way out.

"None shall pass." the kid, acting like a certain Black Knight from a certain Monty Python movie, says.

"What?"

"None shall pass."

Having a Monty Python flashback, Mario says,"I have no quarrel with you, good sir knight, but I must cross this bridge."

"Then you shall die."

"I order you, as having had permission from the Great Dumbo Tree, to stand aside!"

"I move for no man. And that's Deku Tree!"

"Then so be it!"

Mario burns the kid and moves on. Luigi is waiting for him.

"Mario, I'd like to give you this whistle for no reason." Luigi says.

"Okay, can I leave now?"

"Fine with me."

* * *

There it is. Expect chapter 3 soon! Please review! 


	3. Peachy moments

Here's chapter 3. Happy Easter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Mario or Zelda. I own a few copies of the games, but that's it! Don't sue, You'll just get 2 pennies and a dime. Do the math.

* * *

Princess Peach

Mario goes into a field and tries to go everywhere else _but_ his dad's place. He then finds out he can't go _everywhere_.

"WHAT? I'm not allowed in the Gerudo Valley?"

Mario finally goes to his dad's house and sees a bunch of lazy bums patrolling the area.

"Dad must be gettin' pretty bad on security. Lazy bums do _nothing!_" Mario semi-complained, semi-didn't.

Mario walks in front of the bums and reaches a really bad hedge maze. It's going only strait! He then sees Peach looking through… _a cardboard window?_ Mario's dad must be pretty poor!

"Ooh! Peach!"

Peach turns around and sees Mario.

"Hey! Are you the mailman?"

"Yeah." Mario said sarcastically.

"Where's the mail?"

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh. Anyway, because you're a total stranger, I'm going to chat with you! So, you see that creepy guy?"

"Who, dad?"

"No, the _other_ creepy guy. The one with the horns?"

"Yeah. He's a total idiot. He rides on one of his own kids."

"Well, he's evil. So, he's looking for something I don't know about. Go to my aid."

"Where is she and what does she look like?"

"She's right behind you and looks like an acorn. Her name is Nutty."

"Hello! Here's a CD of a random cooking show! It shows people that you have interacted with the royal family… and are a cooking nerd."

"English please?"

"NO!"

Mario leaves and listens to the CD.

"Now today we learn how to boil water!" the voice on the CD said.

"Oh great…"

* * *

There's chapter 3. Also, I'm not sure if I want to finish this, there being no reviews and all. Please review! 


	4. The Moron er, Goron Ruby

Well, that was a great vacation. After getting my first review, I, for some reason, decided to add Chapter 4!  
An answerto your question:

Pyromaniac Idiot: No, I'm not sending Mario to Kakariko, as I couldn't think of anything funny there. Thanks anyway!

Here it is! also, I don't own Mario/Zelda, that's Nintendo, so suing me gets you 2 pennies. Ha.

* * *

The Moron… er, Goron Ruby

Mario then goes in the forest and enters the house where someone lives called… the _mayor?_

"Hi Mario! Come on in for our too-good-to-be-true model of the Lost Woods! Come on in and GET LOST!"

Mario goes in, goes a bunch of different ways, and ends up at a too-good-to-be-true model of the Sacred Meadow (or whatever it's called) and fights a whole bunch of dumb enemies (i.e. a flying peanut named Navy) and reaches Luigi playing in a Barbie doll house.

"I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie world! Life in plastic! It's fantastic!"

Mario starts rolling on the floor laughing. Unfortunately, Luigi hears him.

"Who are you and why are you here?"

"I'm Mario, and the mayor told me to come here. And why are you in a Barbie dress with a cardboard picture of Ken behind you having kiss marks on it?"

"AHHHHH! Here's a CD of the music you heard me sing."

"You see the weirdest people at the weirdest time of day: 12:00 PM!"

"LUNCH!"

Mario eats Navy and throws her up because she's that annoying. He then leaves. Mario goes to a mountain called Death Mountain and goes into a rock village.

"Man, this is better than the forest!"

He goes to a stone door and does some really bad opera. The door collapses and Mario goes to a room with a guy in it.

The guy says, "I'm Bob! Do some music that I like to get a really bad gift!"

Mario puts the Barbie CD into a stereo and covers his ears.

"OH YEAH! THIS IS THE LIFE!"

"Are you kidding me?"

"No! Anyway, here's a bracelet for girls. I thought you'd like it."

"Are you calling me a girl?"

"Yeah."

"Want a knuckle sandwich?"

"Sure! Never tried that kind before!"

Mario punches Bob and goes to a ditch. He sees a bomb, throws it, and kills some guy named Dan.

"HEY! I'm still alive!" Dan screams.

SHUT UP! So, Mario goes in the cavern called Dodongo Cavern and blows up walls until he reaches the evil purple freak named… Barney (gasp)!

"I love you! You love me!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Mario screams.

Barney chases Mario around in circles until he breaks down because he isn't physically fit. Mario leaves and goes back in the rock village (called Goron Village) and goes to Bob.

Bob: Hi! Here's a ruby that's worth 1,000,000,000 coins! That's for getting rid of that evil Barney!

Again reading, Mario asked, "Made in Washington, D.C.?"

"Grr… YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT THAT!"

"I'm going now."

* * *

I like that one. Heh heh. Anyway, you do your thing (R&R) and I'll do my thing (update)! 


	5. That Water Ride

Hi! Wow, I'm glad I'm actually geting reviews. PsychoSpiff, we all hate Barney too.

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Mario/Zelda. So there.

* * *

The Zora Sapphire

Mario then goes to a river called Zora River.

"Don't fall in the water! You'll drown! You won't even get to swim!" Navy warns for some odd reason.

"Where'd you get these stories? They're pretty good for a peanut!"

"I make them up so you'll follow the book."

"What book?"

"Shut up."

"Whatever."

Mario swims all the way to Zora's Domain. He sees a guy with a fish head. He then goes to a waterfall. Another fish-head guy comes.

"Welcome to the swimming contest! Swim for 50 yards and I'll give you a jewel thingy and you'll be able to dive!" the hybrid freak states.

"Um, I can dive by myself. Have a good day!"

Mario takes the jewel thingy and stones the guy, whose name is Dan.

"I'M NOT DEAD FER CRYING OUT LOUD!" Dan screams.

SHUT UP! Anyway, Mario dives and goes through some portal into a lake called Lake Hylia. He sees a note in a bottle, grabs it, swims over to some island, and plays Gilligan's Island until he's bored. He then swims back to the Domain and goes to the _other_ fish-head guy (the first one) and chats by cell phone.

Mario says, "Hello, you have just won…" Now muffled, "a million punches in the face." Not muffled anymore, "To receive your prize, please step down, wearing a blindfold, and come to me. Have a nice day!"

Mario hangs up, the fish-head guy comes to him, and Mario socks him good. By the way, the guy's name was-

"It is NOT Dan!" Dan interrupted.

Of course not! Anyway, it's Joe. Mario goes out and sees a whale. He jumps in.

"Cool! I'm in a whale!" he yells enthusiastically.

"Watch out! He's going to swallow!"

"What the heck?"

The whale swallows Mario and Mario sees a girl.

"Have you seen Daddy?" the little girl asks.

"You mean Joe? I hit him. So?"

"Is he dead?"

"No."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Mario then sees a huge electrical switchboard. He throws some water from the digestive system used to "soften up" the meal on it and the system breaks down. Mario and the girl leave and the girl, named Wendy (yes, the Koopa), gives Mario a sapphire.

Yet again reading, Mario says, "Made in Yugoslavia?"

"Grr… YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT THAT!"

"I'm going now."

* * *

Ah, that's kinda short. Heh, Dan's great. Anyway, I'll keep updating, even if I get only one review a chapter. It's great knowing at least someone's reading. 


	6. Trishroom, Bowser, and randomness, oh my...

Hi! Sorry it took so long, sportpractice has started. Finally, the "midpoint"!

Disclaimer: Don't sue! I don't own Mario/Zelda! So read!

I think I'm getting better at these disclaimers...

* * *

The Wind Whistle of Time

Mario goes to his dad's house after much of Navy's nagging.

"Man, dad's pad is so boring."

"SHUT UP!" his dad yells.

Peach then comes by on a moose, chased by Bowser on Lemmy.

"Get off! I'm tired of carrying you! Get on Morton! He's dumb enough!" Lemmy complains.

"Whatever. Morton, would you like to carry me?"

Morton suddenly comes in.

"Sure I would love to I mean I never carry, backpack, haul, take, tote anything this is so great, fantastic, awesome, admiral, marvelous that it would be so cool, inspiring, awesome that I could never let down this deal, bargain, negotiation!"

Mario stammers, "Uh, okay…"

"Gotta go!" Peach states.

Peach tries to leave on her moose, but a UFO shoots her down.

Bowser declares, "Uh, err… uh… Dang, I forgot my lines. Uh, I will rule, uhhhhhhh…"

"The Mushroom Kingdom?" Mario's dad asks.

"Yeah!"

"Man, adults these days…"

Muffled by the UFO, Peach says, "Mario! Take this whistle!"

"Why?"

"You'll look like an idiot!" Peach said, again muffled.

Peach tosses Mario the whistle. He runs to the family shrine.

"Man, this is larger than I remember!"

Mario puts down the 3 fake jewels and blows the whistle. A football team comes in and breaks down the door. Falling debris killed one player. His name was Dan.

"AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Dang. Anyway, Mario sees a red rose.

"You call this a FIRE FLOWER!"

The narrator walks in.

"No."

"Okay."

Mario takes the flower, gives it to some guy to give to his fiancée, and goes back. He sees the Trishroom: a mushroom with a Triforce symbol on the top instead of the spots.

"This thing looks dumber than I thought!"

Mario dives at it, but Bowser, who had recently come in (last Tuesday, in fact), shoves Mario out of his way and gets the Trishroom.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…" Bowser thinks.

""WISH, FER CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"What? Oh, yeah! I wish I had a cool tower with Plasma TVs and hi-fi stereos and…"

_Seven years later_

"… And heat tiles and it'll be HUGE!"

"Hello, your wish time has expired. Please insert 10 coins to carry out your wish." The Trishroom says in a near-mechanical voice.

"Here goes my last 10 coins…"

Mario has already sneaked away. Mario sees his dad's house being destroyed and breaks out some champagne and drinks it. Then, Bowser's Tower (as it will be called) appears and Mario stares in awe.

"Do you even know what that means?"

The narrator walks in again.

"What? Oh yeah… I do!"

"Tell me."

"Well, the definition is… an overwhelming feeling of wonder or admiration."

"_That_ was off the top of your head?"

"No. You expect me to memorize these things?"

"Okay…"

So, Mario goes to some place called the Chamber of Sages and sees Toadsworth (from Super Mario Sunshine).

"Hi, Mario! Here's a stone thingy! Yes, I don't even care that it's made in Taiwan!"

"Finally, someone who doesn't care!"

"Rescue the Sages!"

"Why?"

"I'll knock you into the water if you don't!"

"Does it at all occur to you that I can swim?"

"It's Sub-Con water!"

Uh… you're unable to swim in it, right?"

"Yes!"

"Point taken."

* * *

Ah, I like that one. Heh, narrator. Please, R&R! 


	7. Luigi's Mansion: Lite

Here's another one, thanks to another review. PsychoSpiff, every story's weird in its special way. This one's just weird in _all_ the ways.

Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? I don't own Nintendo!

* * *

The Forest Medallion

Mario goes to the too-good-to-be-true model of the Lost Woods and into the too-good-to-be-true model of the Sacred Meadow. He shields his eyes at the dollhouse and into a clearing with a house. He climbs two trees and sees some wolves.

Navy: These are wolves! Get a-

Navy is interrupted by a promptly thrown holy-hand grenade.

Mario: What were you going to say?

Navy: -gun.

Mario: Shut up.

Mario then whips out a whip and whips the two wolves. He then gets out a Poltergust 3000 and goes upstairs. He sucks up two ghosts in separate pictures and sucks up two more ghosts upstairs and jumps back down into the first room. An elevator appears and Mario rides it to the B9 (9th floor from ground level) and sees a knight on a horse.

"HELLO!" Mario screams.

"Who art thou? Hasten, fool!"

"I'm Mario. By the way, WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!"

"Well, let us fight to the death!"

Mario rusts the knight's armor with the water attachment on his Poltergust and lets the knight suffocate (some rust got on the holes to breathe through). That knight's name was Dan.

"THAT'S IT! I'M BUYING A MACHETE AND SOME BAZOOKAS!" the annoying, yet somewhat funny, person threatens.

"Dun dun duuuuuunnn!" the sound effects person plays.

The narrator walks in yet again.

"I spent all your money on funding for this! Including your bank account!"

"Dang."

Anyway, Mario suddenly falls through some hole into the Chamber of Sages. He sees Luigi.

"Hi! Here's a stone thingy that is made in England!" the Barbie-loving plumber says.

Mario takes the stone thingy and leaves.

* * *

I love my job. Heh heh. Dan's great. R&R, or be destroyed, anihhilated, decimated... thunk ow... 


	8. FLUDD&Dragons

I'm back! Sorry it took so long, I've been sick. cough Have fun!

Disclaimer: Do I have to say this? I only own a Gamecube and awesome data (on just2 games)!

* * *

The Fire Medallion

Mario then goes back to Goron Village and it's deserted.

"Wow, these people must have gotten a life and moved out."

He then sees a guy doing repeated somersaults and getting his head all bloody. Mario walks up to the guy.

"Yo, what up? I'm Bob's_way_ cooler kid."

"Uh, what are you doing here? Gay people live… OH MY GOD…."

"Wah… HELL NO! Anyway, here's a shirt that promotes idiotic s rights! And could you get a bandage for me?"

Mario puts on the shirt under his normal clothes and goes to Death Mountain's crater. He sees a couple of old people playing chess and a door. He eggs the old geezers and enters the door. Remember Bob? He's guarding a door. Mario gets out his fire flower and burns Bob.

"Chestnuts rolling over an open fire…" he sings.

Mario goes into the next room and sees a dragon made of fire. He gets out a FLUDD and starts hosing till the dragon thing is a spark. A hole opens under Mario and he falls into the Chamber of Sages. Bob is on a platform. His face is black.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to do!" the charred dumbass says.

"Who cares?"

"Yeah, who cares?" Navy agrees.

"Here's a jewel thingy made in Taiwan!"

"I thought you didn't like it when I noticed that."

"Uh… shut up!"

Mario takes the jewel and leaves.

* * *

That was short. Please R&R! Not rest and relaxation, that's my job. 


	9. SCUBA: Sucks Cuz Upper Breathing Aches

It's me! several guys run out of the room Must that always happen? Sigh. Here's chapter 9.

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo! Go away!

Seems a bit grumpy there...

* * *

The Water Medallion

Mario goes to the Zora Domain and sees the fish-head guy Joe (remember him?) and sees him frozen. Mario thaws him (a good half-hour).

"Here's a scuba suit. Now go." the frozen-until-recently freak said.

"You meet the strangest people." Navy says, out of Joe's earshot.

"You'd better believe it." Mario replies.

Mario goes to Lake Hylia and sees it's nearly empty.

"This lake is nearly empty!"

"The author just said that, dimwit!" Navy says.

Two random guys run in.

"Navy said something good! It's the apocalypse!" one states.

"To the bunker!" The other screams.

Mario stares at the two, then slides down the muddy slope into the water. He gets on the suit and starts swimming. Remember Wendy? She's grown up and right in front of Mario. Freaky!

"Hi Mario!"

"AAAH! IT'S HER! RUN!" he screams, looking for an opening.

"I'm going to the boss!"

Wendy goes to the boss, with Mario hanging on to her.

"Hey!" she yells.

Mario looks around. The only object that he sees is a jelly sandwich. He eats it, and it starts playing with his insides.

"Is there a doctor in the house?" Navy says, using the cliché.

A doctor comes and does the Heimlich to Mario. The sandwich comes out, covered in acidic liquids. Its last words?

"Damn it, I can't think of any last-ERK!"

Mario swims into a portal that leads to the Chamber of Sages. Wendy is there.

"Here's a stone thing made in Japan. Now go."

"Must run in the family."

Just guess what he does.

* * *

Last words. Heh. R&R! Pretty please? 


	10. Mario Konga?

I'm better now (thank god), so I now have more time to do stuff. Here's chapter 9.

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo blah blah blah.

* * *

The Shadow Medallion

Mario leaves and goes to a village called Kakariko Village and sees it on fire. He sits back and enjoys the fun. Then, he goes to the graveyard and sees a ledge. Link comes in.

"Is this the way to… never mind."

Link leaves, but drops a hookshot. Mario grabs it and gets up to the ledge. He goes inside and sees a catacomb.

"I'M A GRAVEROBBER! WOOHOO! I'd like to thank Joe, Joe, Joe, and, uh… Joe! And Bill." he randomly says.

Mariojumps on a nearby springboard, jumps up, andlandson a floating drum, entirely skipping the utter chaos below called Teletubbies (gasp). He sees two hands.

"Cool!" he exclaims.

Mario dropkicks the hands and leaves. Remember Nutty? She's in the Chamber of Sages.

"Hi! Here's a jewel thing made in Tahiti!"

Mario leaves.

* * *

That was annoyingly short. R&R! 


	11. Wario World? I think not

I'm back!  
several people dash out of the room  
Cowards. Anyway, this is the second to last chapter! Yes!- wait, I mean, oh man...

Disclaimer: Iblah blah blahdon't yada yadaown et cetera et ceteraNintendo.

* * *

The Spirit Medallion

Mario goes to Gerudo Valley and enters the desert. He sees a bunch of Arabs walking around and… Wario! Mario punches Wario and continues until he sees the Spirit Temple. He then takes out a pack of dynamite and blows up the place. Two witches escape.

"Dang! I need a different method…" he groans.

Mario pulls out a sniper rifle, aims, and kills the witches. He then continues on his merry way until he falls down a "bottomless" pit into the Chamber of Sages. Wario is there.

"Thanks for hitting me." he says.

"I'll do it anytime you ask. It's refreshing." Mario replies.

"Anyway, here's a gem thing made in New York, New York. Now go, pitiful fool."

Mario leaves.

* * *

Damn, that was short. Don't worry, the last one is longer. R&R or die, fool. 


	12. His Happy Ending

God, is this it? We're at the end of the fricken game here! Man, this feels relieving, having finished your first story. Well, enough of my rambling, lets get on with it.

Disclaimer: snore I don't snore own Nintendo snore don't sue snore!

* * *

Bowser's Tower

Mario goes to the family shrine and sees Peach.

"Hi." He says.

"Hi," she replies, "Here's some info on the Trishroom. The three pieces are Coolness, Idiocy, and Seriousness. You've got coolness. I've got seriousness. Bowser has idiocy. One more thing: WAKE UP!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screams.

Mario leaves and goes to Bowser's Tower and goes to the top floor (the 1,454,883,648,648,545,455,534,534,7534th floor. And yes, that's a whole stinking lot).

"Man, good thing I found that warp back on floor 29!"

Bowser is watching TV with surround sound, heat tiles, etc. He notices Mario.

"Hi, I'm Bowser! Want to fight?"

"Why the are you asking?"

Bowser: I feel like it. Oh, and that annoying flying peanut can't help.

"WOOHOO!" he cheers.

"Aw, man!" she(?) replies.

Mario and Bowser do some really violent stuff. You want to see it? Okay, fine, you win.

"I'm going to whoop your off!" Mario threatens.

"That's my line!"

"Who cares?"

Mario goes over to Bowser and repeatedly pokes him until Bowser suffocates from lack of air.

"You suck! Ha ha!"

Mario jumps off the building, wearing a bungee cord. At the bottom it snaps and Mario nearly dies. The only reason he stays alive is because Navy threatened to use Robitussin on Mario, and we all hate Robitussin. Bowser comes down and uses his Trishroom Piece of Idiocy to make him grow. Mario grows.

"Wrong spell. Damn."

Mario squashes Bowser and uses his Trishroom piece to get down to normal size.

"You did it!" that peanut screams.

Mario sees Peach.

"Hey, if Bowser's there, I'm here, and Peach is there, I can make the Trishroom!" Mario figures.

Mario knocks Peach unconscious and makes the Trishroom.

"I wish Navy died!"

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Dang."

Navy bursts into flame and-

"Mario lives happily ever after with a plasma TV and a huge tower and…" he says.

FIN

* * *

Wow, what an ending. Wait, "ending" isn't right, I'll probably come in for an author's note. Anyway, I'd like to thank all the reviewers. Uh... let's see here... fumbles a bit  
Right. I'd like to thank:

Pyromaniac Idiot: My first review. I'll always have the memories.

Psychospiff: I don't know how many times I saw that name in my mailbox. Nice to know someone follows all the way through.

Fallen Wolf: OMG, you do NOT know what it's like to have your favorite author review and _not_ flame. I don't think I got any flames. Thanks!

Meep Sheep: Well... uh... it's nice to know someone liked Dan?

Uh... that's all. Thanks guys (again)!

Ta ta!


End file.
